Sunday, November 05, 2006

Think.

I drive myself mad with your thoughts...
The thoughts you've put inside me.

When will I think for myself??

Sunday, October 29, 2006

As a Child of 22.

18 years of schooling and she wants to waitress...
What does it mean?
...
Please answer that.
...
And in the mean time,
gander at my application to the Des Moines Arts Festival.


Between Lines Self Portrait


Twin One / Twin Two


Lacey / Bobby

I am driven to creative ends from the story of my parents: their immigration, assimilation, pursuit of financial security and the preservation of their children in the face of social, ethnic and class boundaries. Dedicated to the recording and documenting of their lives befitting "The American Dream", I paint and draw portraits. Each piece is a narrative of my own reflections on each person; I utilize the creative process as a motivating method for research and greater comprehension of both anthropology and the individual. The intended result is a building and layering of mixed media, often transferred photographic images, papers underneath charcoal, acrylic, and oil.

Monday, September 18, 2006

I have an addiction...

Mock me...
Scorn me...
Jeer and sneer...
...
...
I've played Song No. 6 :: Ane Brun & Ron Sexsmith over 1200 times
...
iTunes says so...
...
...
Yah...
...
In other news...
Lisa can do the splits.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Update :: Lisa

Scene ::
Lacey's old bedroom,
Lisa's belongings scattered among the floor,
Purple Gaiam yoga mat strewn haphazardly,
Lisa in lotus pose...
You get the picture.

A Moment of Clarity ::
I want to help people...
I want to interact with people...
I want to meet people...
Talk to people...
Hear their stories...
...
And for now...
I want to do this in Iowa...
I want to be close to my family...
...
Awww man this feels good.
...
Currently listening to The Hidden Cameras...

Sunday, July 30, 2006

A La Michael...

Link

Lisa needs a tree.

Lisa Needs Bearcat Love.

Lisa Needs Help!

LISA NEEDS TO GET A LIFE

Lisa needs a home.

Lisa needs to get laid.

Lisa needs braces!

LISA NEEDS U!

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Sisters know best...

She says my lips are out of proportion to my face...

what do you think????
Sincerely, Lucious Lips Ly

PS. For closer inspection, view May 21 post.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Lame...

I'm lame....

Listening to The Format right now.

Being and Feeling Lame.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Are you....

implying that I am holding onto you???
that I am not dating because of what we never had???
...
well you are right.

Last night,
As I listened to your words,
As I recalled our moments,
Our distractions,
My heart screamed!
For what was...

You're my favorite "Don't cry b/c its over...
Smile because it happened"s

Listening to The Build-Up :: The Kings of Convenience

Wishing I could take this paper crane and fly to you... imagine.

Paper Crane in Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I dreamt of a boy...

I knew him in college...

But he did not know me...

I awoke feeling refreshed...

No, it was not that kind of dream...

But it was...

Nonetheless a kind of dream.
....
It's been a while... did you miss me???
The short story:
I got distracted in NYC.
....
The long story... in photo essay form:

attended a Yankees game with my boss...


saw Feist in concert with Jason Collete and Buck 65... for FREE!!


Two major projects at my internship and more pay = good...


New York Times Square at night...


Empire State Building... never again!


Brooklyn


Local Farmer's Market... makes me happy.. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays


Central Park... finally some greenery!!!


I am currently listening to TV on the Radio... because I'm going to see them on Friday... Yessss!!! I heart NY!

Friday, June 09, 2006

Don't Miss Out...

on the adventures and misadventures of New Lily/York...
that is...
the NEW and improved LILY...
in NEW YORK....

all right kitty kats...
pictures are sure to come...
today I meet my boss...
and buy some beach supplies...
I think I am going to Coney Island tomorrow...
gone for now...
but wait for it...
I will be updating soon...

Currently listening to Frontier Psychiatrist :: The Avalanches

Monday, May 29, 2006

i love feeling connected...

emotionally...
mentally...
and...
physically...

and that was saturday night...

yay for being gutsy enough to make that call...

currently listening to the avalanches (so frickin good)
currently reading on the road :: jack kerouac
currently thinking of him...

Friday, May 26, 2006

i hate feeling left out...

its a downward spiral...
when you feel you don't fit in...
you can't think of anything to say...
so you think about how long it was since you did say...
then you're not paying attention...
and they keep on saying...
and you keep on not saying...
...
*sigh*
...
when you thought you left your insecurity at the door...
it rears its ugly face at you...
to keep you in check...
put you in your place...
remind you...

oh by the way...
...
i'm moving to new york...

sleeping by the fyris river :: ane brun

Sunday, May 21, 2006

I eat mangos...

mmmmmmm mango...
in all its deliciousness...
its succulence...
the way the coolness hits my mouth...
sweet on the tongue...
sharp on my wits...
juicy...
a drop glides down my lip...
slowly...
like a dance...
its teasing my senses...
much like a kiss from...
i desire more...
more...
more...
more...
...

why am i never satisfied?

listening to oh well :: fiona apple

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The Hut...

home for the weekend...
a list of sorts...
sorting the hearts...
and the notso hearts...



things i heart:
the way my house smells...
sitting at table 11...
waiting on customers...
my mom...
my dad...
thrifting...
my sister...
catching up...
chopsticks...
broken fortune cookies...
mom's homemade croutons...
reading...
jack kerouac's on the road
buena vista social club...
yoga...
handmade cards...
snail mail to hearts...
hearts far away...

things i heart less:
constant eating...
sleeping in...
by myself...
the number 0...

currently listening to lover's spit :: broken social scene

Friday, May 19, 2006

just friends?...

this blows...
blows chunks....

Thursday, May 18, 2006

he says.....

lisa.....
we shouldn't even try, as his hand leaves the comfort of my own....
my heart beat becomes the only thing i feel....
i lift my head to stare into those eyes.....
silence.....
the words finally being said, after both secretly thinking them...
both knowing them...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
a melancholy sweeps over my face as the quiet surrounds my ears...
nervousness, against my will, clouds my body...
i feel a need to get out...
i'm embarrassed...
i don't want to show him this...
this thoughtfulness...
fidgeting, i search for my belongings...
nothing is left to say...
the night is over...
and so are we...
before there even was a we.

tragically, overly dramatic... as portrayed by miss lily, to the beat of her own drum...to get it out... because as much as she wants to let the tears fall, they just aren't there.

currently listening to parting gift :: fiona apple

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Some Recent Thoughts...

Apparently I used this web log as another way to procreastinate... since the 6th of May, I've had no reason to prooooooooocrastinate... as you are now reading the entries of an Iowa State alum. Am I trying to justify my lack of updating???? Maybe....

Other thoughts:

yoga in the morning = a more productive day
yoga in the afternoon = a less productive day
....
no idea why....

today was a pretty amazing day.
yoga in the morning...
dishes quickly following...
stomping grounds with friends...
the letters of vincent van gogh...
and a dinner party feast of champions:
jonni rahmani hummus and kimberly avocado alfredo pasta...
deeeedeeeelicious...........

today's van gogh words of wisdom....
"when one lives with others and is bound by feelings of affection, then one realizes that one has a reason for living, that one may not be utterly worthless and expendable, but is perhaps good for something."
....
i really like how quickly i turned to reading as my form of entertainment...
TV has not contolled me for about a year... and when i move... wherever i go... i will be the proud owner of a... library....

i just finished david sedaris' holidays on ice...
currently working on the letters of vincent van gogh...
will shortly begin jack kerouac's on the road...
and the lives of the muses: nine women and the artists they inspired...
also in the works... rereading ida b by miss katherine hannigan... because it is THAT good... and reading for the first time... dave eggers' a heartbreaking work of staggering genius...
i heart books...

i am currently loving the lovely, enchanting miss fiona apple... extroidinary machine... and my 008 Beautiful? playlist...

one last note on procrastination...
animal crackers are an excellent device for the aforementioned...
great for snacking and circus reenactments at four in the morning...

Monday, May 01, 2006

May Day May Day!!! Could It Really Be My Birthday?

We grow up so fast...
Another year past...
How do I feel about this one last?


Twins 2002. Veisha 2006

It has been one amazing year.
One filled with many tears and many laughs.
I have grown and matured so much, I don't even know where to begin.
I've broken hearts, mended hearts, met new hearts...
Yah...
Met a lot of new hearts...
Hearts that I am happy to call my friends....
Friends...
Who today threw me a surprise birthday party...
My first ever...
I was sooo embarrassed....
My face was sooo red..
You might've thought I had a glass of wine...
Yah...
Amazing friends...
Amazing.

Currently listening to Death Cab for Cutie's iTunes Original
(just a little birthday love from my twin)

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I'm Trying Too Hard...

but not on the right things... if you know what I mean....

if you don't... then email me, and I'll tell you....

Oh. BTW, that me at Senior Graphic Design Portfolio night.... being me...

Saturday, April 22, 2006

I Feel Like...

sitting on a couchey...
and being all mousey...
with you...
...
while listening to Rachael Yamagata...
but not Afrika Bambataa...
tata!


Jade April 2006.

Sometimes....

I go out on a Friday night, wait 3 hours in line for pancakes and sausages when I should be graphic designing and stay up into the night... I heart VEISHEA...

Now the question is to stay up for another 4 hours designing and be tired for ERP kids tomorrow.... or go to sleep for 4 hours and still be tired for ERP kids tomorrow.... I am voting for the later...

Saturday morning plans:
VEISHEA parade and SCUM magic chemistry show... don't forget the VEISHEA cherry pies!

Saturday evening plans:
a date with COD... that's College of Design for those not in the know... not cod the fish...... mmmmmm..... cod sounds good......

Currently listening to the Dream of Evan and Chan :: the Postal Service...
Currently thinking about boys.... I know... I know...

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

An Overcast Day...

yes it is....
the perfect day for The Be Good Tanyas...
....
in other lily news...
someone in France is dreaming about me.... ;)
i'm thinking about working at a pretentious coffeeshop for the summer...
i'm craving attention and affection...
and i don't want to graduate...
and................
i'm thinking about a boy... what else is new? jk...
not just any boy.... this boy:


pretty much the love of my life...

Currently listening to The Littlest Birds :: The Be Good Tanyas

Monday, April 17, 2006

I Had Gross "I Didn't Brush My Teeth Because I Was Called to Work in My Parent's Restaurant Before I Could Brush, Coffee-Stained Teeth Today..."

so of course I finally run into cute-coffeeshop-boy. Go figure...

I did a lot of smiling of those yellow chompers... So I'm pretty sure he noticed... but at least my soy miel was delicious.

In other news... I went home this weekend... to take pictures of the restaurant/parents for a book project... but I didn't get to it... and here's why.
Friday night: came in around 10 PM... restaurant is all ready closed.
Saturday day: woke late... decided on a quick trip to Salvation Army... but what was supposed to be a 1 hour-12 dollar trip turned into a 3 hour-62 dollar trip... not because SA had so many great finds... but because I conveniently locked my keys in my car... thus spending an hour searching for my keys and spending 50 dollars to have someone open my car door...

You know what's funny? I thought before I went into SA... "I don't need to lock my door... this is Atlantic" as I pushed the lock down and walked inside.... go figure.

So other things happened that prohibited me from picture taking... but I really just wanted to tell that story.... its pretty funny. Man, cars and I are not getting along lately.... remember that car accident last month?... yah, you do?... yah........... (long awkward pause as I reflect...) At least I found some hot things at SA... some need to be reconstituted into something that isn't for pregnant women... but really great patterns... really.

Currently listening to I Want A Little Sugar in My Bowl :: Nina Simone...
Why? Because who doesn't... you know... want sugar in their bowl? ;)

Friday, April 14, 2006

I'm A Completely Different Person...

when I am in the painting studio.

I am alive.
I meet other painters.
We discuss their paintings...
what they mean,
their concept,
their subject,
their composition,
their feelings.

It is a beautiful thing for me to be in the studio.

Why am I in graphic design again?... Yah... definitely becoming a teacher.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Where'd it go?

Somehow... Iowa skipped right over spring and landed in summer. Hello 88 degree weather!

Anecdote of the Day...
People walking alone, smiling because of something or someone they're thinking about make me smile... but then they spit on the ground and my smile turns upside down and I think "ewwwwwwwwwww."

Monday, April 10, 2006

Hey Its Been A While.

And I bet you're wondering how I am... maybe not though.

Well, I'll tell you anyway. Why? Because I really should be doing nude self-portrait thumbnails... and because I enjoy procrastinating.

Replay:
Friday night = much fun.
Date 1 with B, his GF, and Guffman...
that is we were Waiting for Guffman most of the night... ;)
(Yah I was a third wheel, but it was fun nonetheless. We made fruit pizza!)

Date 2 with M, peanut butter & jelly,
and no bake "dessert bake" (whaaaaaaa?)

That's right. We made 12 PB & J sandwiches for ERP Kids.
They were delicious!

And here Miss Lily is presenting the No Bake, "Dessert Bake"!.... (ummmmmmm, it looked like tar.. so Miss Lily didn't eat it... besides chocolate... really?)

Saturday... also = much fun.
Who wouldn't enjoy the Science Center of Iowa?...
Especially with these adorable little ones from ERP!

Meet P. I've written of him before. He's the one who lived in Germany, plays the violin (though now he's changed to the recorder), and who I've fallen for... he's so adorably cute!

Last but not least: a new favorite song.
Rain and Snow :: The Be Good Tanyas
It's sooooooo gooooooood!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

"It's A Shame... "

from BH himself.

BH: Did you register for classes?
L: What? No, I'm graduating.
BH: Oh that's right. (insert somewhat disappointed face)
L: I know. (smiling and giggling with that cuteness... I do so often) I wish I wasn't... I'm not ready. BW said that I should stay another semester and focus on graduate level painting.

Silence...

BH: Well that's a shame [that you will be graduating]. This is your third time in figure drawing?
L: Nope, first time.
(BH gives me a twinkling eye)

End best compliment from BH... ever! Believe me my friends... this is quite a flattering statement from probably the hardest critiquer I've had in my four years of higher education. I'm elated.

I'll post some of my work as soon as I get it back from him.....

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Yah.. I'm Not A Liar....

and someone from afar just emailed me... and that made me smile...



kind of like this... ;)

I'm Not Gonna Lie...

I did have a bad day. But I don't really think you want to hear me whine about it. Nobody really likes whiny, bitchy Lily... especially me.

However the contents of the day did make me think back and reflect on a very troublesome time in my life. I am referring to my teen angst period. Though it's not quite a fitting name because it was only a little over a year ago. So.. yah... I went through a weird teen angst period in my 20s: I didn't know what I wanted, I questioned everything and everyone, and music was my savior.

Here are a few of my favorites from my angsty period.... I still like them... and they take me back....

Ani DiFranco :: 32 Flavors & Joyful Girl
The Arcade Fire :: Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) & Rebellion (Lies)
Cocorosie :: Lyla
Cursive :: The Recluse
Damien Rice :: The Blower's Daughter & Cold Water
Death Cab for Cutie :: The New Year & Transatlanticism
Elliott Smith :: Waltz #2 & Coast to Coast
The Fiery Furnaces :: Single Again & Sweet Spots
The Go! Team :: The Power is On & Huddle Formation
Hot Hot Heat :: Le Le Low & Get In or Get Out
The Pixies :: Debaser & Where is My Mind?
The Postal Service :: The District Sleeps Alone Tonight & Brand New Colony
Queens of the Stone Age :: Mosquito Song
Ratatat :: Seventeen Years & Crips
The Rentals :: My Summer Girl & These Days
Yeah Yeah Yeahs :: Y Control & Maps

The bolded ones are especially thematic of angsty Lily...

Sunday, April 02, 2006

I'm...

listening to Beth Orton's Trailer Park CD... and its good.

I'm becoming one of those bloggers that blog multiple times a day, and I'm not sure I like that. More and more, my entries take a step towards "dirrrrrr, uhhhhhhhh, whaaaaa?"

Just tell me to stop!!! I beg of you!!! (as I grasp onto your arm and look into your eyes with my own big, brown and almond shaped ones)

That reminds me of this boy in my class. We have these amazing moments every time we're together where across the room I catch him gazing at me, or I him. We stare at each other intensely, directly in the eyes for periods longer than I would normally find comfortable. With a slight, coy smile or nod we're back to drawing or painting. It creates a sweeping feeling that takes a hold my whole body. What does it mean?

I'm Thinking....

that procrastination is really not PRO anything but pure laziness.

1. FINISH writing log entry
2. drop paintings off at MU for FOCUS Exhibition (I hope I get in)
3. finish SWATCH coffee table book
4. finish RESUME, COVER LETTER and SAMPLE BOOK
5. finish MAP (almost there)
6. finish ETHOS spreads
7. finish ELECTRONIC portfolio
8. finish stressed MINDSET
8. each one of these things is a blister on my brain, very fittingly I am listening to Blisters On My Brain :: Lo-Fidelity Allstars and yes I meant to put two 8s

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Kid Drama.

The kids loved Reiman Gardens and the Butterfly wing... as did I, but I didn't get to take any pictures as I was too busy keeping a couple of them apart. DRAMA! In short, R and P had difficulties with personal space. But the best part about childhood drama is that it lasts for fifteen minutes and then they move on. Isn't that great? I LOVE it. Beyond that the day was great, filled with laughter, conversation, meeting new people...

Currently I am PROcrastinating on graphic designing a coffee table book about textiles and fabrics. I always start my projects excited but as time dwindles on, so does my interest.

A high school friend called me just now and I am ecstatic! It has been well over a year since I have talked to her, and within fifteen minutes we are making plans to travel to New York City or Seattle within the coming summer. I LOVE it! Makes me think of our third friend in San Diego.... wish I knew how to get a hold of him.

My friend, J, is hoping for a job in the bright and beautiful sun of East Bay, California and has offered me lodging should I decide I am a west coast kind of girl. Hopefully, my friend D will move out to NYC within the next year and I can test the waters there, too.

Current thoughts on me
1. I might become a nomad
2. I'm a bit indecisive
3. I'm too sassy these days
4. I'm too bloat bloat bloated... that I might float float float away....

I'm listening to Colour Me Radio :: Dot Allison

On the Rooftops SHOUTING Out!

I just had one of the best nights of my year, reconnecting. So this guy I knew in animation came back to Ames for the weekend. He had been studying in Canada, was living at home and was returning to ISU to visit friends. We never really knew each other and only talked once a month or so on AOL. We got to talking on iChat one fine evening and I told him to call me up when he's in town... which he did... which I didn't expect... and at the time (today at 9 PMish) I didn't really want to meet up... due to exhaustion, due to potential awkwardness... due to my own introvert tendencies. BUT the proverbial leaf has been turned (more on this later)... and I decided "Yah, go get some hot tea with this boy."

Turns out he is amazing and we have soooo much in common. I can't even explain how excited I am, how fortunate I am, how grateful I am that he and I reconnected our acquaintenance status and turned it into a friendship. I am so elated!

I am currently listening to Hide and Seek :: Imogen Heap when really I want to play that song Ready to Go :: Republica (you know that song on that commercial... I think they were selling a car, but I don't know... I think the commercial is 5 years old.. b/c I don't watch TV....... this sentence is going on way to long.....) Sidenote on Imogen Heap... learned more about Ms. Frou Frou front woman today... she's performing in Boulder, CO and Milwaukee, WI... which I know people in the areas and wouldn't it be amazing to see her in concert? I'm thinking about it... plus I need to travel some more.... love the experience.

In other news... I should go to bed because it is almost 3:00 AM and I have to wake up kind of early for a Saturday morning. I'm going to the Butterfly Wing at Reiman Gardens tomorrow with the ERP kids!! I'm looking forward to taking pictures of beautiful butterflies and beautiful children.

Last thought for this early early morning: I hope my bloated belly goes away by the time I wake up.

Friday, March 31, 2006

In Case You Wanted to Know...

today my friend Josh read my palm and told me my life story. And here it is:

I have a highly successful career in whatever I pursue.
I marry a Japanese-American architect taller than myself...
And we have two children a boy and a girl.
We live in a modern home, undoubtedly designed by my husband,
That looks off of a cliff towards the ocean...
It is very West coast or tropic-like foreign country.
We have a toy dog of some sort (but hopefully not yippity) and
Our other pet is a small fish with beautiful, colorful fins.

All in all it is a pretty happy outlook for me... he also mentioned I have a long life line, and I am not a lesbian; but unfortunately I love my son more than I love my architect husband....

Sidenote: I always did want to live in a warm area, and I love large bodies of water, but I was almost 90% sure I was going to marry a Caucasian boy. Maybe that is just a skewed perspective as a result of living in Iowa for the past 13 years.

I Close My Eyes :: Shivaree

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

; ) I Have....

boys on the brain... near and far...
(when I should really be studying for my sociology test. Boys are cute...)

new music waiting to lovingly grace my ears...
A Grand Love Story :: Kid Loco
Monarch :: Feist
EP and Interventions & Lullabies :: The Format
To Be You and Me :: Broken Social Scene
Will You Find Me :: Ida

just a little over a month until I graduate...

a lack of motivation...

Monarch :: Feist

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Last Top 5.

Perhaps a bit too repetitious, but I can't help it.
Top 5 Things to Make Miss Lily Smile Today.

1. Tracy/Mogwai :: Kid Loco
2. Lee, his present to me, and his contagious smile
3. Figure drawing class
4. Receiving a blown kiss from a boy on my way to class
5. And two high fives... scratch that four high fives.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Top 5 Yoga Poses & Why I Heart Yoga.

triangle
half moon
side plank
tree
down dog

Yoga is the only time I give 100% to myself. For two hours a week (I wish it were more) I give myself this treat: a balancing of my mind, body and soul. Focusing on breathing. I inhale the calm, and I exhale the stresses. Thinking of no one else (usually, sometimes my mind wanders), my breath gives me the strength to hold my poses. My breath gives me life and awakens me as a being, not a student, a designer, an artist, a daughter, a sister or a friend; just a human being.

Yoga makes me physically aware of my body, helps me sleep deeper, helps me eat less and more nutritiously. In short yoga makes me sane.
It makes me.

Guilty Cubicles :: Broken Social Scene

Top 5 Things to Make You Cry and Ruin Your Week Before It Even Starts.

1. Get into a minor car accident... which will lead to costly bills, higher insurance rates, but most of all a disappointed dad.
2. Dote on embarrassing moments of past and wish they would disappear from your mind.
3. Anticipate a stressful week of 2 charcoal drawings due, 1 graphic project due and a sociology test.
4. Sit in front of a mirror topless for a few hours drawing and see how you feel about your body.
5. Did I mention dissapoint your dad?

Don't Need A Reason :: Beth Orton

(Talk about melodramatic... sorry to be such a downer. Go back to my Sunday links and enjoy the fine art. I'll be back to my good ol self in a week... maybe.)

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Top 5 Artists.

Hung Liu
Edward Hopper
Martin Parr
Walker Evans
Andy Goldsworthy

Liu for her emotive, expressive portraits, brushstroke & color palette.
Hopper for his solemn, isolated figures and creation of space.
Parr for his colorful irony, humor and critique on society.
Evans for his documentative photographic style.
Goldsworthy for his beauty in economy.


The Boxer :: Hung Liu

Saturday, March 25, 2006

I Surprise Myself...

with my craziness.

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight :: The Postal Service

Some Guys Are Smooth...

And I don't want to be that girl...
but I am.

My stomach hurts.

Names :: Cat Power

Friday, March 24, 2006

The Apple of My Eye.

Last night I watched a movie at Amber's. By watch I mean listened to while I hunched over my Apple Powerbook and graphic designed. In a mad rush to get home to continue designing and leave Amber to her beauty sleep, I left my powercord and iPod at her place. Once at home, with my laptop dying and no iPod in sight, I found myself with nothing to do. I literally walked around my apartment aimlessly not knowing what to do with myself. It made me realize how dependent I am on my Mac (aka: the "Apple of My Eye"). My life is on this machine: all of my graphic design portfolio, over 10,000 digital photos from my travels and life, and over 20 gigabytes of music. All of which I don't have hard copies backedup. How scary and sad. Scary because this machine is my life and sad because this machine is my life.

You realize my dilemma.

Yes a problem I am aware, but I'm not quite ready to take the 12-step program. In the mean time, here are some things that have been on my mind, in my heart and playing on my Apple:
money (lack there of)
life after graduation:
graphic design?
youth camp arts leader?
teach for america?
americorp?
new tennis shoes to begin wall climbing
the kids at ERP
Jonathan's parents
my parents
the China Hut
Aqualung
Stars
Kings of Convenience
Buena Vista Social Club
Nina Simone
Ane Brun
Nick Drake
Amon Tobin

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Just In Time.

by Nina Simone.

This is a great story... I can relate.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I Don't Have Anything to Say. And This is What that Sounds Like:

I was an hour late for work this morning because I stayed up until 4 AM drawing my naked torso in charcoal for figure drawing class.

Iowa greeted me with 8 inches of snow on the ground! (Its the first day of spring! If I had the Mamas & the Papas I would have listened to California Dreamin' on my morning walk to work.)

People don't know how to use Photoshop and I can't fix everything, especially on three hours of sleep and bad Folgers coffee.

Overachieving still hasn't failed me. (Prof: "I told you before that I needed you to push the class forward and I wasn't lying.")

I got paint on my "new" sweater from a vintage shop in LA, but I don't care because I did it painting. (I'm pretty sure I want to teach art.)

I put way too much vinegar in my hot and sour soup. My stomach is burning. (I'm such a graphic designer, without this sentence I would have had a widow, and yah the rag on my title bothers me.)

I eat weird food: mix vanilla yogurt with sugar free raspberry preserves, add nutmeg and cinnamon to taste and enjoy while thinking of me.

Currently listening to The Build-Up :: Kings of Convenience with Feist vocals... for the 76th time. I LOVE her voice.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Theme Song of the Day.

The Build-Up :: Kings of Convenience

In quite literal terms:
the build-up of a week with no self {yoga}
the build-up of homework unaccomplished
the build-up of a diet less healthy
the build-up of hopes for a not so distant future.

In "the vaguely announced"
The spinning top made a sound like a train across the valley
Fading, oh so quiet, but constant 'til it passed
Over the ridge into the distances, written on your ticket
To remind you where to stop
And when to get off
When to get off
When to get off
When to get off

... when to get off?

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Enjoy Your Flight Miss Ly [flying the friendly air first class]

Real dishes...
Salted nuts in a heated bowl...
Warmed hand washclothes...
Cloth placemats...
A dinner when everyone else must pay for a snack...
Its crazy!
Least of all, a cookie & milk dessert.
(which I passed due to degree of chocolate chunkiness)



Overbooked flights make for fantastic news: a voucher for 1 roundtrip flight to anywhere in the 48 contiguous states for FREE!

I'm thinking New York, but I'll gladly take suggestions.

Current mood? Elated!
Currently listening to Just for a Moment :: Aqualung.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Ready"Made" My Day.

The bright sun...
A long walk...
A talk with Amber...
Meeting Maili...
Laughing over tea...
Pictures by the SF Bay...

I'm so excited for the possibilities of life.
Its everywhere... don't let it pass by.
(more or less a note for myself, but I'm willing to share ;)


Emeryville :: California 2006
Best viewed when listening to Aqualung or Kings of Convenience

Thursday, March 16, 2006

ReadyMe for ReadyMade....?

I'm working on it. Check them out.

Currently listening to You Turn Me Round :: Aqualung.

Sometimes I Am Fricken Ridiculous...

and so is this.

Santa Monica Beach 2006.

Currently listening to Don't Need A Reason :: Beth Orton

Monday, March 13, 2006

Sunday, March 12, 2006

I Was Distracted....





Currently watching Waiting for Guffman, waiting for my toes to warm from a day full of walking in the rain. Would LOVE a fireside chat, hot tea and music.... and Amber.

The Nature of the Airport Terminal.

Scattered.
Avoidance of confrontation.
Couplets and singles keep to themselves.
Yet convergence in this one room.
Dotted like salt and pepper...
Where are they all headed?

Des Moines Int'l Airport en route to Chicago with an ultimate destination: San Francisco, California.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

I Finally Get It...

A realization finally reached me last night.
A care that I choose not to share...
But wish everyone to know.
Its good that I know now...
So I won't try as hard.
So my expectations are lowered...
So I won't fall as hard.
So I won't fall.

Though I'm sad,
I have much to look forward to today... and later:
1. THE AIR. I fly to California today. I miss flying. I miss seeing new things.
I miss.
2. THE MUSEUMS. This week I will see the SFMOMA and de Young in San Francisco, and Getty's museum in LA. Possibly the Asian Art Museum and the Museum of Craft + Design as well.
3. A TOUR. Is it everything I want in a job? Will they appreciate my interest? Will they hire me?
4. A CALLING. Is it calling me? The West... or the East? What kind of girl am I? Who am I?... Or which do I want to be?
5. A KISS or at least A HUG. Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. Maybe I'm just looking for some passion... because maybe I watched The Notebook last night... and maybe I did not cry or even get teary-eyed. Where is my heart?


These lips are craving passion because I think I've lost heart.

Friday, March 10, 2006

My Favorite Part of The Day.

Every morning I walk through an "X" intersection right in front of the library.
It is my favorite part of the day.
Students rush around me and I around others.
Within 30 seconds we all converge...
Interweaving in perfect harmony.
Hardly ever do people run into each other.
Everyone alters their pace into a perfect ebb and flow of bodies.
And then theres that one person who looks you in the eyes.

I LOVE it.
The sun streaming down (like today).
The perfect song playing on my iPod mini (Ageless Beauty :: Stars)
Today, life is beautiful.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Forgive Me.

I don't really wish I could forget some things ever happened.... otherwise I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm generally happy with who I am, who I was, and who I hope to become. I hope you are too... and if not, lets talk about it over a cup of soy miel or herbal tea, take your pick.

xoxo to you and life.

Ramblings.

So I kind of sort of went on a date thing... ......
.....
.....
.....
Yah.
He didn't know what the word prententious meant.
.....
.....
Yah, I'm judging....
.....
Now who is being pretentious?
......
....
Yah.
...
Thoughts this morning.
1. I hate it when I hate things.
2. I should drink more water.
3. I don't want to wish away my life.
4. I wish I could forget some things ever happened.
Yah. I broke #3 all ready and its only 10 AM.

Currently at work listening to Les Reprouves / Tommy Hools :: Kid Loco on his Jesus LIfe for Children Under 12 Inches album.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

"Awards of Excellence."

So I won two awards of "excellence" for these two pictures at the juried Art Director's Association of Iowa Student Exhibition. It might sound impressive, but its really not.





They really turned out quite lovely... as are the memories of them.

Currently listening to Are They Saying Goodbye :: Ane Brun

Monday, March 06, 2006

I'm flying out... West.

Off to California I go. I traveled quite a bit in Europe and the ease of train and people there made me feel comforted. Despite the fact that I can understand people here in the US, I don't feel as safe about my forthcoming trip. I'm not sure why. It could be my lack of plans, but I never felt I needed to know where everything is and where to go when I was in Europe. Why in the US? Such a conundrum.

I really just want to relax. So I'm going to just going to go with the flow. Isn't that how they do things out in California anyway? (yah, I'm stereotyping, I do that sometimes)

Currently feeling mellow.
Currently listening to This Years Love :: David Grey.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Are You Proud of What You've Done Today?

Did you accomplish what you've wanted? Did you feel what you've wanted to feel? Is the world a better place because you have?

Asking these questions to myself make my bad morning trivial. There are issues in the world of far greater concern than a late start, bad color prints, embarrassing paintings on the exhibition wall, and what I ate the past few days.

I asked myself these questions because I wanted to start to view the glass half-full. My todo list relative to the issues of the world is utterly selfish:

1. portfolio rework: Butterfly filing packaging design (I named it the "Butterfiler" ), playing card redesign, Palatine Hill identity system, Death Cab for Cutie calendar design
2. resume/cover letter mailout for getting interviews
3. studio/firm research... looking at the "West Side": Seattle, Portland, San Francisco/Berkeley... maybe Los Angeles...
4. book design homework
5. laundry
6. groceries (could probably hold out..)

But its all so trivial. I want to fight the world. Against it. For it. All of the above. Forget my todo list. Forget graphic design. I just want to do service: community, volunteer. Americorp and Teach for America seem like a dream that is so out of reach.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Hung with Chopsticks.



Currently loving Song No. 6 :: Ane Brun featuring Ron Sexsmith

Monday, February 27, 2006

Great Antique Find...



and I mean it....

Currently listening to Sleeping by the Fyris River :: Ane Brun

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Speaking of Amsterdam...


Valentines & Voltage Party. 11 February 2006

our take on the Red Light District.... Introducing Dr. Love and his lovely assistants: Naughty Nurse Ly and Naughty Nurse Hodges.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Today...

I had a great lecture on LGBT issues.

Reminds me of the Homomonument in Amsterdam. I do miss Europe.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

This is Frickin Hillarious...


Good morning Paris, France! 29 December 2006

Saturday, February 18, 2006

....???

World... don't judge me because I don't like to go to the bars.
As if I don't feel inadequate enough...
people have to make me feel as if I am weird because I don't like to drink and feel awkward around stinky-alcohol breath boys... and girls.
What happened to the days of dinner and a movie?

I just want to be courted... romantically...
and not from grinding next to me at the bar.
Is that so wrong?

Today...

a friend told me I was inspiring and that made me happy...



like this train ride from Venice to Rome.

Currently listening to Fade Into You :: Mazzy Star

Friday, February 17, 2006

I Could Use A Fireside Chat.


A high of 2 degrees fareinheit.
A wind chill of -20 degrees fareinheit.
My home.
Daniel, I could so use a fireside chat and your mom's apple cider.
We'll talk philosophy and love.
I miss you.
When are you coming home?

Do you even read this?